VTIPY
Paní učitelka se ptá Aničky: "Co dává koza?" "Mléko." "Správně." Pak se ptá Frantíka: "Co dává ovce?" "Vlnu." "Správně." Pak se ptá Pepíčka: "Co dává kráva?" "Domácí úkoly."
Dva lovci jsou kdesi v lesích, když se jeden z nich náhle svalí na zem. Zdá se, že nedýchá a má skelný zrak. Druhý lovec volá záchranku. Hlas mu přeskakuje: "Můj přítel je mrtvý! Co mám dělat?" "Uklidněte se, já vám pomohu, nejprve se přesvěčte, že je skutečně mrtvý." Chvíli je ticho, pak se ozve výstřel: "A co teď?"
O štědrém dnu volá Franta svému kámošovi: "Hele nemáš dneska na půl dne čas?" Kamarád se diví: ,,Zrovna dnes, a proč?" "No já jen že mám doma postavenej betlém a chybí mi tam osel....."
Lord letí v balóně a nadšeně vykřikuje: "Z balónu vidím naši zelenou planetu a vidím i jiné zelené planety!" "Nerad to říkám, vaše lordstvo," ozve se James, "ale právě letíme nad melounovým polem."
"Maminko, ve škole se mi děti smějí, že vypadám jako netvor." "Nic si z toho nedělej, Pepíčku, zavři i to třetí očičko a spi už."
"Pane doktore, jak se povedla operace?" "Perfektně, vaše slepé střevo opět vidí."
Je krásná letní noc a dva zamilovaní leží v trávě a pozorují hvězdy. Vtom ona řekne: "Miláčku, cítíš to co já?" On na to: "Jo a kdybysme si vzali baterku, tak jsme si do toho nemuseli lehnout."
Dva lékaři stojí nad pacientem a vážně pokyvují hlavami. Pak ten starší pronese otázku: "Tak co, pane kolego, budeme ho léčit, nebo ho necháme žít?"
Přijde syn k mamince a povídá: "Mami, budu se ženit." "A koho si bereš, synáčku?" "Sousedovic Jirku." "Ale vždyť je to kluk!" "Jak to kluk, už je mu třicet!"
Chlápek si stěžuje: "Pane doktore, nikdo mě nebere vážně!" "Ale, ne Vy žertujete?"
Jde předseda JZD s agronomem okolo pole. Tu slyší zašustění klasů a naléhavé: "Už budu! Už budu!" "Slyšíš?" povídá předseda. "To pole si o sklizeň přímo říká."
"Naši Milču požádali o ruku současně dva nápadníci" Chlubí se paní Mráčková "Inženýr a doktor." "A na koho se usmálo štěstí?" ptá se paní Kolomazníková. "Na inženýra, vybrala si doktora."
Víte jaký je rozdíl mezi kubánským pomerančem a somálským dítětem? Asi deset deka.
Žila v jedné zemi krásná a chytrá princezna. Když seděla u potoka, vyskočila z něj žába a pravila: "Jsem zakletý princ. Stačí jeden polibek a proměním se v prince. Pak se můžeme vzít a žít šťastně ve Tvém zámku. Budeš mne moci milovat, připravovat moje oblíbené jídlo, prát moje košile, rodit moje děti. Budeme šťastni." Tentýž večer při vychutnávání lehce osmahlých žabých stehýnek si princezna pomyslela: "Tos teda uhod!"
Blondýna na letišti: "Slyšela jsem, že letí červené lodičky, tak sem se chtěla zeptat v kolik?"
V tramvaji se nad paní v letech postaví mladá žena a zeptá se: "Prosím Vás, mohla byste mě pustit sednout? Jsem těhotná." Paní ochotně vstane a když si prohlíží slečnu také se zeptá: "A jak dlouho?" "Asi tak půl hodiny!" zní odpověď.
Posílá sklerotická babka sklerotického dědu na nákup a klade mu na srdce: "Dědo, víš dobře, jakou máš sklerózu, přines mlíko a chleba. Pamatuj si, že máš přinést dvě věci." Děda odcupitá do obchodu, tam si nemůže vzpomenout, co měl koupit, tak vezme kartáček na zuby a přijde s tím domů. "Dědo, dědo, ta tvoje skleróza. Vždyť jsem Ti říkala dvě věci. A ty přineseš kartáček na zuby. No a kde máš pastu...?"
Víte, proč cikáni nemohou být vegetariáni? Už jste někdy viděli sójový psy?
"Pepíčku, máš rád pejsky?" Ptá se Pepíčka paní učitelka. "Ano," paní učitelko, "ale kočičku jsem již také jedl."
Šedá myška potká na poli bílou myšku a ptá se jí: "Ty jsi ta laboratorní?" "Ne, já jsem lední medvěd po Špidlově reformě."
Hloupý povídá hloupému: "Když uhádneš kolik je v té krabici housek, tak ti všechny tři dám!"
__KONEC__
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Review of Delaware Alternative Health care as well as his or her holistic strategy to be able to medicine throughout Middletown, DE
Main Portions:
1. Alternative Medicine Design
-Goodies the particular whole person - thoughts, physique and spirit
-Blends mainstream as well as alternative approaches
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/991354936714391952/
2. Services Provided
-Primary treatment as well as continual condition supervision
-Homeopathy, massage, natural medicine
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3. Main Attention Providers
-Dr. Christina Panaccione, Doctor of medicine
-Doctor. Kristen Sniatkowski, MD
-Health professional practitioner Theresa Gillman
-Places of skills included
4. Alternative Wellbeing Strategy
-All-natural dietary supplements along with medicinal foods
-Body cleanse applications
-Anxiety management as well as lifestyle modifications
-Community classes and wellness occasions
5. Medical center Atmosphere
-Soothing environment good to recovery
-Relieving design as well as leisure space
-On-site yoga facility
-Local pharmacy of all-natural solutions
Bottom line:
-Recap of De Complementary Healthcare's providers
-Contact particulars and area throughout Middletown, Del.
Permit me know if a person would certainly such as myself to be able to increase on virtually any specific area within far more detail.
Whole-System Care in Diamond state Complementary Medical
(RobertDiefe, 14. 11. 2023 5:51)
Introduction of De Alternative Healthcare as well as their own integrative approach in order to treatments throughout Middletown, Del.
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https://www.pinterest.com/pin/991354936714391952/
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3. Primary Care Vendors
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-Dr. Kristen Sniatkowski, Maryland
-Health professional medical expert Teresa Gillman
-Places of knowledge covered
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Let myself know in the event that an individual might like me to expand about virtually any particular portion in more aspect.
Cool, I've been looking for this one for a long time
(MichaelSef, 13. 11. 2023 1:29)very interesting, but nothing sensible
Coaching Ones Pet With Leader Reactions
(MilfordGlunk, 12. 11. 2023 7:58)
Overview of Leader Reactions canine coaching ideology as well as techniques. They focus on positive encouragement while establishing the actual proprietor because bunch leader.
Main Sections:
1. Dominant Behavior Training Method
-Utilizing puppy's all-natural load up instincts to be able to respect proprietor since head
-Good reinforcement methods
-Compensate-dependent education methods
-Understanding canine mindset along with habits
-Customized coaching ideas with regard to every pet
https://twitter.com/alpha_instincts
2. Obedience Coaching
-Basic commands - remain, continue to be, arrive, heel, down
-Teather training with regard to walking adequately
-Curbing bouncing, biting, barking
-Interpersonal interaction along with other canines as well as individuals
-Off-leash control
3. Conduct Alteration
-Dealing with issue behaviors - aggression, nervousness, eating, burrowing, and so on.
-Correcting undesirable habits
-Managing animated and high vitality puppies
-Training for separation nervousness
4. Specific Training
-Services dog preparation
-Therapy pet recognition
-Guard canine conditioning
-Diagnosis and tracking capabilities
-Seeking dog proficiency
-Rivals and demonstrate coaching
5. In-Home and Kennel Education
-Personal within-home periods
-Evening education along with boarding software
-Group instruction from their own education facility
-24/Several trainer support regarding ship owners
Conclusion:
-Review of Dominant Behavior' encounter and versatile education expert services
-Contact info regarding evaluating and costs
Permit me recognize if a person would like everyone to expand or even include a lot more particulars upon just about any certain portion.
Coaching Ones Dog With Alpha Reactions
(MilfordGlunk, 12. 11. 2023 6:54)
Review of Alpha Behavior dog coaching thinking as well as techniques. They concentrate in positive encouragement while creating the actual user as load up leader.
Main Portions:
1. Alpha Behavior Training Strategy
-Using pet's all-natural pack instincts in order to respect owner because head
-Good reinforcement techniques
-Reward-structured education methods
-Knowing canine perception and behaviors
-Customized coaching plans for each and every canine
https://twitter.com/alpha_instincts
2. Conformity Training
-Basic commands - sit, keep, arrive, hindfoot, lower
-Lead training regarding jogging adequately
-Checking getting, biting, barking
-Socialization together with other dogs and folks
-Off-leash handle
3. Behavior Modification
-Coping with difficulty habits - hostility, nervousness, gnawing, searching, and so forth.
-Correcting unwanted habits
-Controlling excitable along with substantial energy dogs
-Training for spliting up stress and anxiety
4. Specific Education
-Assistance canine planning
-Remedy pet accreditation
-Defend pet health and fitness
-Diagnosis along with monitoring skills
-Seeking canine effectiveness
-Competition along with show education
5. Throughout-Home and Kennel Education
-Private throughout-property sessions
-Evening coaching and pet software
-Team classes at their education service
-Twenty four/6 instructor assistance with regard to ship owners
Realization:
-Review of Dominant Instincts' experience as well as versatile coaching services
-Get hold of information for examining as well as charges
Permit myself understand in the event that a person would certainly such as everyone in order to expand or even put more particulars about just about any particular portion.
Coaching The Dog With Leader Behavior
(MilfordGlunk, 12. 11. 2023 5:47)
Review of Dominant Behavior pet education thinking as well as methods. They concentrate upon constructive reinforcement although creating the particular proprietor because load up innovator.
Primary Sections:
1. Alpha Instincts Training Strategy
-Using dog's natural bunch behavior in order to respect proprietor as head
-Constructive reinforcement methods
-Incentive-dependent coaching approaches
-Knowing dog mindset and manners
-Customized education plans for each canine
https://twitter.com/alpha_instincts
2. Obedience Education
-Basic instructions - remain, stay, appear, back heel, lower
-Lead coaching regarding jogging correctly
-Controlling getting, nipping, woofing
-Interpersonal interaction together with other dogs along with people
-Off-leash manage
3. Habits Alteration
-Coping with issue behaviors - hostility, nervousness, eating, burrowing, and so forth.
-Fixing unsatisfactory habits
-Coping with enthusiastic along with high power dogs
-Education with regard to spliting up nervousness
4. Customized Coaching
-Services canine preparation
-Therapy pet recognition
-Defend pet fitness and health
-Diagnosis and following abilities
-Hunting canine effectiveness
-Competition along with demonstrate education
5. Throughout-Home as well as Pet Coaching
-Exclusive in-house sessions
-Time education as well as kennel applications
-Party instruction at his or her training facility
-Twenty four/7 coach help regarding ship owners
Conclusion:
-Overview of Dominant Reactions' knowledge and adaptable coaching providers
-Contact details regarding examining along with costs
Allow myself know if an individual might similar to myself to broaden or perhaps include more information upon any certain section.
Educating Ones Puppy Utilizing Dominant Instincts
(MilfordGlunk, 12. 11. 2023 1:19)
Review of Alpha Behavior canine coaching ideology as well as techniques. These people emphasis on constructive encouragement although establishing the actual owner as load up innovator.
Main Sections:
1. Alpha Instincts Coaching Strategy
-Using puppy's natural bunch behavior in order to respect user since leader
-Good encouragement strategies
-Incentive-based training approaches
-Comprehension dog psychology along with behaviors
-Personalized education programs with regard to every pet
https://twitter.com/alpha_instincts
2. Obedience Coaching
-Basic orders - remain, keep, arrive, heel, lower
-Lead education with regard to walking adequately
-Curbing bouncing, biting, barking
-Socializing with other dogs along with people
-Away from-leash handle
3. Habits Changes
-Dealing with problem manners - hostility, nervousness, gnawing, digging, etc.
-Fixing unsatisfactory practices
-Managing animated along with higher power dogs
-Training for splitting up anxiety
4. Specialized Coaching
-Services pet processing
-Remedy canine accreditation
-Defend dog fitness and health
-Detection as well as monitoring abilities
-Hunting pet effectiveness
-Opposition and show training
5. In-Home and Pet Education
-Exclusive within-property sessions
-Evening coaching and kennel software
-Team classes at his or her education capability
-24/6 instructor help regarding boarders
Realization:
-Review of Leader Reactions' knowledge as well as multipurpose coaching expert services
-Get in touch with details for examining and pricing
Allow myself know when a person might similar to everyone to increase or put far more details upon any particular portion.
Educating Your Dog Together with Leader Instincts
(MilfordGlunk, 11. 11. 2023 23:02)
Review of Dominant Behavior pet training ideology as well as techniques. These people concentrate on good reinforcement although creating the actual owner since load up innovator.
Main Areas:
1. Dominant Instincts Training Method
-Making use of puppy's natural bunch instincts to respect proprietor as head
-Positive reinforcement techniques
-Incentive-structured education approaches
-Comprehension canine mindset and manners
-Customized coaching plans regarding each dog
https://twitter.com/alpha_instincts
2. Compliance Coaching
-Basic instructions - sit, keep, arrive, back heel, down
-Leash education regarding walking adequately
-Curbing bouncing, pinching, too much barking
-Socializing along with other dogs and people
-Away-leash handle
3. Behavior Modification
-Dealing with difficulty behaviors - aggression, stress and anxiety, gnawing, searching, and so forth.
-Rectifying unwanted habits
-Managing excitable along with substantial power dogs
-Training regarding spliting up stress and anxiety
4. Customized Training
-Assistance canine planning
-Therapies dog certification
-Guard dog fitness and health
-Detection as well as following capabilities
-Searching for pet effectiveness
-Rivals and show coaching
5. In-Home as well as Kennel Training
-Private in-property sessions
-Day training and boarding software
-Party instruction at his or her education capability
-24/6 coach help for ship owners
Realization:
-Overview of Leader Instincts' knowledge and versatile education expert services
-Contact info with regard to examining along with costs
Allow everyone know when a person would like me to be able to expand or put more particulars about virtually any particular portion.
Educating The Dog Utilizing Leader Behavior
(MilfordGlunk, 11. 11. 2023 14:31)
Review of Alpha Instincts canine education philosophy and techniques. These people concentrate on constructive reinforcement while setting up the user because pack leader.
Main Areas:
1. Alpha Instincts Coaching Method
-Using puppy's natural bunch instincts in order to respect owner as leader
-Good motivation strategies
-Compensate-based education methods
-Understanding canine psychology along with habits
-Customized training programs for each and every pet
https://twitter.com/alpha_instincts
2. Compliance Training
-Fundamental instructions - sit, keep, come, hindfoot, lower
-Lead training for walking properly
-Checking jumping, biting, barking
-Interpersonal interaction along with some other puppies as well as folks
-Away-leash handle
3. Habits Alteration
-Coping with issue behaviors - anger, stress and anxiety, gnawing, burrowing, etc.
-Rectifying undesirable habits
-Controlling enthusiastic along with substantial energy dogs
-Education regarding splitting up stress and anxiety
4. Specialized Education
-Service canine preparation
-Therapy canine recognition
-Safeguard canine conditioning
-Detection along with following abilities
-Searching for dog effectiveness
-Opposition as well as show training
5. Throughout-Home along with Kennel Training
-Exclusive within-home sessions
-Time education along with pet programs
-Party courses in their training facility
-24/6 trainer support for ship owners
Realization:
-Introduction of Dominant Instincts' encounter and multipurpose training services
-Contact details with regard to evaluations and charges
Permit myself know in the event that a person might similar to everyone to be able to increase or perhaps add far more information on just about any particular portion.
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Целебные свойства лекарства под названием "Мефедрон в Ташкенте" по сниженной цене сейчас доступен каждому покупателю без ограничений?
Мне очень нужен Мефедрон в Ташкенте, потому что моя сестра заболела и не может принимать лекарства без Мефедрона в Ташкенте.
Все кто способен Купить Мефедрон в Ташкенте закладками прикопами или магнитами могут это сделать моментально через круглосуточный магазин Ташкент.
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(HerbertHof, 4. 11. 2023 19:02)
Source:
- https://www.vancouvernews.net/newsr/15808
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