VTIPY
Paní učitelka se ptá Aničky: "Co dává koza?" "Mléko." "Správně." Pak se ptá Frantíka: "Co dává ovce?" "Vlnu." "Správně." Pak se ptá Pepíčka: "Co dává kráva?" "Domácí úkoly."
Dva lovci jsou kdesi v lesích, když se jeden z nich náhle svalí na zem. Zdá se, že nedýchá a má skelný zrak. Druhý lovec volá záchranku. Hlas mu přeskakuje: "Můj přítel je mrtvý! Co mám dělat?" "Uklidněte se, já vám pomohu, nejprve se přesvěčte, že je skutečně mrtvý." Chvíli je ticho, pak se ozve výstřel: "A co teď?"
O štědrém dnu volá Franta svému kámošovi: "Hele nemáš dneska na půl dne čas?" Kamarád se diví: ,,Zrovna dnes, a proč?" "No já jen že mám doma postavenej betlém a chybí mi tam osel....."
Lord letí v balóně a nadšeně vykřikuje: "Z balónu vidím naši zelenou planetu a vidím i jiné zelené planety!" "Nerad to říkám, vaše lordstvo," ozve se James, "ale právě letíme nad melounovým polem."
"Maminko, ve škole se mi děti smějí, že vypadám jako netvor." "Nic si z toho nedělej, Pepíčku, zavři i to třetí očičko a spi už."
"Pane doktore, jak se povedla operace?" "Perfektně, vaše slepé střevo opět vidí."
Je krásná letní noc a dva zamilovaní leží v trávě a pozorují hvězdy. Vtom ona řekne: "Miláčku, cítíš to co já?" On na to: "Jo a kdybysme si vzali baterku, tak jsme si do toho nemuseli lehnout."
Dva lékaři stojí nad pacientem a vážně pokyvují hlavami. Pak ten starší pronese otázku: "Tak co, pane kolego, budeme ho léčit, nebo ho necháme žít?"
Přijde syn k mamince a povídá: "Mami, budu se ženit." "A koho si bereš, synáčku?" "Sousedovic Jirku." "Ale vždyť je to kluk!" "Jak to kluk, už je mu třicet!"
Chlápek si stěžuje: "Pane doktore, nikdo mě nebere vážně!" "Ale, ne Vy žertujete?"
Jde předseda JZD s agronomem okolo pole. Tu slyší zašustění klasů a naléhavé: "Už budu! Už budu!" "Slyšíš?" povídá předseda. "To pole si o sklizeň přímo říká."
"Naši Milču požádali o ruku současně dva nápadníci" Chlubí se paní Mráčková "Inženýr a doktor." "A na koho se usmálo štěstí?" ptá se paní Kolomazníková. "Na inženýra, vybrala si doktora."
Víte jaký je rozdíl mezi kubánským pomerančem a somálským dítětem? Asi deset deka.
Žila v jedné zemi krásná a chytrá princezna. Když seděla u potoka, vyskočila z něj žába a pravila: "Jsem zakletý princ. Stačí jeden polibek a proměním se v prince. Pak se můžeme vzít a žít šťastně ve Tvém zámku. Budeš mne moci milovat, připravovat moje oblíbené jídlo, prát moje košile, rodit moje děti. Budeme šťastni." Tentýž večer při vychutnávání lehce osmahlých žabých stehýnek si princezna pomyslela: "Tos teda uhod!"
Blondýna na letišti: "Slyšela jsem, že letí červené lodičky, tak sem se chtěla zeptat v kolik?"
V tramvaji se nad paní v letech postaví mladá žena a zeptá se: "Prosím Vás, mohla byste mě pustit sednout? Jsem těhotná." Paní ochotně vstane a když si prohlíží slečnu také se zeptá: "A jak dlouho?" "Asi tak půl hodiny!" zní odpověď.
Posílá sklerotická babka sklerotického dědu na nákup a klade mu na srdce: "Dědo, víš dobře, jakou máš sklerózu, přines mlíko a chleba. Pamatuj si, že máš přinést dvě věci." Děda odcupitá do obchodu, tam si nemůže vzpomenout, co měl koupit, tak vezme kartáček na zuby a přijde s tím domů. "Dědo, dědo, ta tvoje skleróza. Vždyť jsem Ti říkala dvě věci. A ty přineseš kartáček na zuby. No a kde máš pastu...?"
Víte, proč cikáni nemohou být vegetariáni? Už jste někdy viděli sójový psy?
"Pepíčku, máš rád pejsky?" Ptá se Pepíčka paní učitelka. "Ano," paní učitelko, "ale kočičku jsem již také jedl."
Šedá myška potká na poli bílou myšku a ptá se jí: "Ty jsi ta laboratorní?" "Ne, já jsem lední medvěd po Špidlově reformě."
Hloupý povídá hloupému: "Když uhádneš kolik je v té krabici housek, tak ti všechny tři dám!"
__KONEC__
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Cute, cuddly, squishy and happy, Squishmallows have got taken our tickers. This cutely chubby cuddly beasts have got mesmerized little ones, adolescents plus adults similar with their silken huggable texture, jovial grins plus astounding detonating variety.
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The Genesis from Squishmallows
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A dream formed in 2017 at the time that plaything trade professionals Kellie Liu plus Jenna Kasan co-founded KellyToy, an ingenious make focusing upon sweet, imaginative brand-new squishy goods to completely times. From inspecting infectious plaything modes, they identified buyers have become fixated with no equitable cuteness yet locating one-of-a-kind surfaces.
Classifying this Gigantic Squooshmallows Menagerie
Yet another part encouraging white hot appeal be the reality Kellytoy grasp extraordinarily expanding the plush company|there be not any limit on crazy Sorts or comestible articles they will personify next!
Squooshes now come within beyond 3000 discrete designs plus motivated orbits thus far (plus tallying), assembled across roughly 180 Squads staunchly ensconcing them as this cushy toy Pokemon within collectibleness obsession. There one immediate basis upon which way the violently capacious house classifies:
Worldwide Squishmallowizing
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The Unstoppable Squooshmallows Craze: Inside the Cute Plush Toy Fixation
(WilliamHic, 29. 12. 2023 11:34)
The Inevitable Squishies Frenzy: Within the Sweet Soft Toy Fixation
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A Origin Adventure: How Squishies Arrived to Breath
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The beginnings from SquishiePillows be able to be traced to toy industry veterans at Kellytoy. In 2017, these looked for make a new class of ultra-soft squishy playthings centered on solace and adorability. Following twelvemonths from testing with top-grade super-soft polyester fur materials and proficient filling proportions, these ultimately accomplished the perfect "crush" density plus huggability them have been looking for.
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Key Constituents Lurking behind the Squishmallow Pets Recipe
A number of major factors formed this runaway triumph Squooshmallow Pets delight in like together a global toy label plus pop civilization phenomenon:
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Continuous Brand-new Releases| Limited rarities drive out crisis whilst new theme drops and capsule organization sustain unbroken pastime.
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Investigating this Comprehensive Squishmallows Habitat
With virtually thousands of options and enumerating, the size of this Squishmallows list grasp exponentially raising. Probing over center routine assortments close by small dashes plus collaborations exposes this true scale of this ultra-infectious plush plaything gesture.
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The Irresistible Squishmallows Sensation: Inside the Adorable Soft Plaything Fixation
(WilliamHic, 29. 12. 2023 7:04)
An Irresistible Squishmallows Frenzy: Inside the Adorable Plush Plaything Fixation
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A beginnings of Squishmallows can be tracked for plaything commerce veterans at KellyToy. Within 2017, them sought to produce one new class of super-soft squishy toys focused on solace plus sweetness. Following months of testing among top-grade super-soft synthetic fibers fur cloths plus skillful filling ratios, they eventually achieved the perfect "smoosh" thickness plus huggability them were seeking.
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Major Elements Hiding behind this Squishie Pillows Formula
Several key aspects formed this away success Squooshmallow Pets revel in as together a global toy brand plus bang civilization sensation:
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Texture Appeal - The satisfyingly glasslike, dense cushy fabric offer peerless easing texture enjoyment for squelching plus embrace meetings similar.
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Community Link| Energetic buff foundations came forth on communal systems united from shared amassing zeal and profound organized crime to various adorable personas.
Constant Brand-new Variants| Small rarities force crisis whilst brand-new motive dips plus pill arrangement sustain never-ending diversion.
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Among literally thousands of possibilities and reckoning, the extent of this Squishmallows list cling uncontrollably cultivating. Checking over center everyday assortments together with restricted dashes plus collaborations uncovers this accurate flame from this super-infectious squishy toy gesture.
Measure Productions| These extensively unbound options show every year across leading shops within a arc from hues, creatures plus sizes.
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An Unstoppable Squooshmallows Craze: Within this Sweet Soft Toy Obsession
(WilliamHic, 29. 12. 2023 3:57)
The Irresistible Squooshmallows Frenzy: Inside the Cute Soft Toy Fixation
SquishiePillows have got get an uncontested plaything craze because of their amazingly mellow texture and sweet smiley-faced plush setups. These circular, cushiony filled animals have captivated above children plus full-grown assemblers alike as this hottest brand-new mushy toy mode.
A Beginning Story: How Squishmallows Came for Life
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A starts of Squishmallows be able to be tracked to plaything industry experts at KellyToy. In 2017, these looked to create a brand-new category of super-soft plush toys concentrated upon consolation and cuteness. After twelvemonths from trying with premium very-soft synthetic fibers coat fabrics plus expert stuffing ratios, them at long last achieved this faultless "crush" consistency and cuddle factor they were seeking.
Naming these creations "SquishPets", they unveiled a crease from joyful creature pillow chums at toy fairs in 2018 for direct acclaim. Their advance came in 2019 at the time that viral communal big media buzz from devotees showcasing the playthings booted the Squishie Pillow sensation into tall gear.
Major Components Hiding behind the Squishmallow Pets Recipe
Several key elements crafted this runaway success Squooshmallow Pets get pleasure from like together a universal plaything label and bang culture phenomenon:
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Sensory Charm - A pleasingly smooth, compressed squishy material provides incomparable easing tactile enjoyment for squishing plus hug sessions similar.
Cute Role Designs| Between the snug round bodies for jovial grinny visages, the enjoyable visuals couple uncontrollable style with appealing identity.
Blissful Retreat - At times of worldwide instability, this boosting fanciful temperament allow comfort by way of unaffected romp plus amassing ardor.
Society Link| Vibrant buff foundations emerged upon community platforms united by common accumulating fervor plus deep affinity to different lovable characters.
Continuous New Releases| Small rarities propel exigency although new point drops plus pill arrangement sustain never-ending pastime.
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Examining the Expansive Squishie Pillows Ecosystem
With genuinely thousands of possibilities and enumerating, the sweep from this Squish Cushion lineup keeps uncontrollably developing. Exploring across essence everyday assortments close by restricted sprints plus teamwork exposes the accurate order of magnitude from the extra-contagious cushy toy sign.
Gauge Productions| This widely unbound alternatives become visible every year over leading vendors within one rainbow of hues, creatures plus dimensions.
Seasonal Variants - Festive restricted variant runs for functions like Beggars' night, Xmas, Easter, and St. Valentine's Twenty-four hour period. Outside focus options, at the time disappeared them fade forever fueling demand. One little may connect this essence cast if popularity seeps enough withal.
An Irresistible Squishies Sensation: Within the Adorable Soft Plaything Fixation
(WilliamHic, 28. 12. 2023 15:40)
The Unstoppable Squooshmallows Frenzy: Inside this Cute Plush Toy Obsession
SquooshyPlushPals have become a uncontested toy phenomenon because of the amazingly mellow texture plus adorable cheery-faced plush setups. These circular, puffy stuffed beasts have got won over little ones and full-grown collectors similar as the hottest brand-new smooshy plaything mode.
An Start Tale: The way Squishmallows Arrived for Life
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The starts from Squishmallows be able to be traced for plaything commerce veterans in Kellytoy. Within 2017, them looked to make a new type of ultra-soft plush playthings concentrated on solace plus cuteness. Following twelvemonths from testing with premium very-soft polyester fur materials plus knowledgeable filling proportions, these finally attained the faultless "squash" consistency plus huggability these were searching for.
Christening these creations "Squishmallows", these unveiled a cord of joyful animal pillow pals in plaything carnivals in 2018 for direct approval. Their achievement came within 2019 as contagious social multimedia system buzz between devotees showcasing the toys kicked the Squishies frenzy into tall gear.
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A number of major factors crafted this runaway success Squishmallows enjoy like both a worldwide plaything brand and bang civilization sensation:
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Physical Allure - A satisfyingly smooth, condensed cushy material provides unmatched assuaging texture happiness for squeezing and snuggle conferences common.
Sweet Role Designs| From their snug rotund frames for joyful grinny faces, the appealing aesthetics connect irresistible fashion among enchanting identity.
Blissful Isolation - In times from universal precariousness, the elevating zany nature give comfort all the way through simple play and amassing ardor.
Society Connection| Energetic enthusiast bases came out upon social systems connected by joint gathering passion plus intense oganized crime to different adorable personas.
Perpetual New Variants| Restricted exclusives drive out necessity although new theme declines plus pill arrangement sustain nonstop interest.
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Examining this Expansive Squishmallow Plush Habitat
Among essentially many possibilities plus calculating, the degree of the Squish Cushion lineup grip exponentially growing. Scanning across center habitual assemblages close by restricted dashes and collaborations divulges the accurate scale from this extra-infectious squishy plaything movement.
Standard Fabrications| These here broadly released options become visible every year across guiding retailers in a arc from colors, animals plus dimensions.
Seasonal Editions - Festive small interpretation dashes for affairs like Halloween, Noel, Resurrection Sunday, and St. Valentine's 24-hour interval. Outside focus options, previously vanished they disappear perpetually fueling appeal. A little may unite the core cast if fame oozes enough withal.
Toxicomanie a la Cocaine : Exploration du Labyrinthe de la Dependance et Cultivation des Voies vers la Guerison
(AltonTyday, 28. 12. 2023 7:26)
La dependance a la cocaine est un fleau de sante mondial qui touche de nombreuses vies. La cocaine, une drogue stimulante extremement addictive, agit sur le systeme nerveux central, provoquant des sensations d'euphorie et d'vitalite. Cependant, l'utilisation repetee de la cocaine peut entrainer une dependance grave, avec des consequences nefastes sur la sante physique et mentale des individus.
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La prise de conscience a la gravite de la toxicomanie a la cocaine et la propagation de ressources accessibles pour la prevention et le soin sont essentielles pour rompre le cercle vicieux de cette maladie. En favorisant l'instruction, la recherche et la compassion, la societe peut jouer un role crucial dans la lutte contre la dependance a la cocaine et offrir aux individus touches une voie vers la recuperation et la reprise.
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An Inevitable Squishies Frenzy: Within the Sweet Soft Toy Fixation
(WilliamHic, 28. 12. 2023 5:00)
An Unstoppable Squishmallows Craze: Within this Adorable Soft Plaything Obsession
SquooshyPlushPals have become a unquestionable plaything phenomenon due to the incredibly velvety texture plus cute grinny-faced plush figures. These here round, pillowy filled beasts have got won over kids and full-grown assemblers alike like the most blazing new smooshy toy trend.
A Origin Adventure: The way Squishmallows Came to Breath
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A starts of SquishiePillows be able to be traced to plaything commerce experts at Kellytoy. In 2017, they looked for make a new category from ultra-soft cushy toys centered on consolation and sweetness. After twelvemonths of testing with top-grade very-soft synthetic fibers coat materials plus knowledgeable stuffing proportions, them eventually realized this faultless "squash" thickness and cuddle factor they have been searching for.
Naming these designs "SquishiePillows", these debuted a crease from cheerful beast cushion chums in toy carnivals within 2018 for instant applause. The progress arrived in 2019 as contagious communal big media buzz between fans displaying the toys booted the Squishies sensation into high apparatus.
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Physical Allure - A satisfyingly glasslike, compressed squishy fabric grant unparalleled alleviating tactile elation for squelching and embrace sessions alike.
Cute Character Designs| From their snug rotund bodies to content grinny visages, the appealing aesthetics connect irresistible vogue with captivating identity.
Cheerful Retreat - At times from worldwide precariousness, the inspiring zany temperament supply consolation all the way through ingenuous gambol plus aggregating fervor.
Community Connection| Energetic aficionado groundworks arose on community systems connected by shared gathering passion and intense oganized crime for different adorable identities.
Perpetual New Issues| Limited exclusives drive out necessity whilst brand-new motive dips plus capsule organization support connected pursuit.
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Checking out the Inclusive Squooshmallow Bio system
With literally thousands of choices and enumerating, the range of the Squish Cushion lineup grasp uncontrollably growing. Checking over essence routine collections together with limited jogs and teamwork divulges the true scale of this ultra-infectious squishy toy movement.
Criterion Fabrications| These broadly released possibilities materialize per year across primary dealers in a rainbow from tints, beasts and dimensions.
Yearly Variants - Festive restricted rendering sprints to functions similar to Halloween, Xmas, Easter, plus Valentine's Day. Out-of-door center options, at the time vanished these vanish permanently stoking demand. A few can unite the core band provided that fame leaks enough notwithstanding.
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xxx
(RBETMub, 30. 1. 2024 1:34)